This often leads to stupid behaviors like deception and lying – for example, not telling a woman your marital status until you’ve gone out too many times or, worse, telling a woman you’re divorced (especially online! You have to be honest or you’ll look like a dick – you just have to know how to spin it.
Please don't tell me that I should let him go because I already know that this probably would be the best for me. So far I just would like to understand what he's really feeling and thinking.
Thank you so much for your answers and opinions (men's welcome)! There are clearly trust issues between you that need sorting out.
Why did he undertake such huge efforts just for sex (I'm not an extremely good-looking woman...) If he's actually separated, WTF does his reaction now mean?
Is he running away just because of one bad evening? Or is he really concerned about me and wants to stay away because he knows if we'd see each other again he couldn't uphold his decision?
So I called him on the third day to ask what's up, and he said that he feels sad and guilty because he hurt me so much and that he doesn't want to be so selfish especially not towards me and since he doesn't want this to happen again he'd better stay away from me.
He said he wants me to look for someone who could give me what I deserve and that I won't be able to do this as long as we're seeing each other.
What hurts me most is that after all that I'm willing to tolerate (him being still married and not really wanting to get divorced because of insurance issues and his 4 (!
) kids, me always coming second to his kids, lonely christmas and weekends etc.), in return, he's not even willing to spend more nights at my place to make me believe he's actually separated.
First of all, there is no proof that he's actually living separated.
I just have his word and that of his sister (which I weight high because we're friends).
And, “separated” can mean many things: Any woman dating a separated or divorcing man is taking a risk.